Kihen, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei
by Shuji Nonohana
Summary: A shortening of Kigahen, which means Crazy, Insane or Mad. Zetsubou-Sensei finds new things to despair about. In the midst of all the madness, Kafuka turns dark situations light. A story with no plot to speak of.
1. Chapter 1

Sigh, when does it end? The turmoil the world is in… it just never ends. Well enough about that, lets move on to today.

Thanksgiving is over, and it was a happy day for me since I almost literally ate myself into a coma. I got to see relatives I almost never see, and the car ride home was traffic-less.

But if things were always centered on the happy things, the world wouldn't be diverse and open and fun. Satire, Dark Humor, that is another form of fun. Fun doesn't have to be happy, it is merely a form of entertainment. I'm talking too much. Sumimasen.

But then again, you all knew this, didn't you? If you didn't know that dark things could be funny, you wouldn't have watched/read Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei. Or maybe you found out after reading it.

Haga: Okay, this is getting boring. Why don't you just skip to the bland stuff and get to the part that everyone wants to know.

And what would that be?

Haga: When a sexual advance made by me actually goes somewhere.

Okay, I'm getting sick and tired of this! Why don't you just crawl off into a cave and live the rest of your life in isolation?!

Haga: Because that's what you want to do.

………….

Chapter One: 1985

"Ah, it's almost winter." Said Chiri , looking at her calendar. November 30th. It is indeed almost winter.

Later, in Nozomu's class…

"Sorry I'm late!" Said Nami as she walked into the classroom.

Nozomu looked at the clock. "You're twenty minutes late."

"I'm sorry. My bus got caught in morning traffic."

"Well, it's almost winter, and that means it's almost the Christmas season." Said Chiri. "People are going everywhere to get ready. It's only natural for the streets to be packed."

Nami sighed. "I just cant get used to the passing of seasons."

"So the passing of seasons troubles you?" Said Nozomu. "You haven't truly seen the troubles of time passing…"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… the passing of eras is much more troublesome than the passing of seasons!"

The entire class had that look of, 'Here he goes again' on their face.

"Try living in the 1980's. It was way less advanced than the world is today. TV programs only just started being popular, people were just starting to develop unique fashion sense, and the internet was still new!"

The class could sort of see where this was heading.

"But now! People always have their eyes glued to their TV's never wanting to be torn away from their favorite programs! The world of fashion rules people's lives nowadays! Human beings have become so dependent on internet technology, they even make phones with internet access!"

Nozomu slammed his hands down onto the podium.

"People got along fine without any innovations before the 21st century! But now that this era's people have been brought up on TV, and Fashion, and Internet access, they can't live without it!"

Flash. Flash. Flash. Flash.

Nozomu clutched his fists and said, "Zetsuboushitta! The absurd result of the passing of eras has left me in despair!"

He pointed out the window. "Look now, even as we speak, there is a person from the previous era having problems adjusting!"

There was an old man, aged at about seventy, holding a computer mouse in his hand. He kept clicking it and moved it around randomly. He said, "What doohickey does this clicker turn on?"

"Oh! I've seen him before!" Said Harumi. "He lives in my neighborhood."

Harumi introduced the class to the old man. "This is Koki. He walks around the neighborhood telling people about the good old days."

Koki smiled. "I remember the good old days, when these confusing square boxes with pictures didn't even exist!"

"You mean manga?"

"Yeah, those things! We all had to read regular books!"

Abiru replied, "Actually, a lot of people still like regular books."

Koki answered, "Well them boxes with pictures is all I hear this girl talkin' 'bout!" He pointed at Harumi.

"Well excuse me for having an interest in something modern!"

"But you see, it's this modernization that you all have become too dependant on." Said Nozomu. "If you couldn't read manga or watch anime anymore, I'm sure you'd be completely different!"

"No, I can still draw dojinshi!"

"But accurate pairings require you to know how the story goes and the characters relationship. And you don't know how any of that goes unless you read the manga or watch the anime!"

Harumi frowned. "Then I'll just draw old pairings!"

"Please. In this day and age, the old are pushed aside for the new. Those pairings won't be as popular anymore."

Harumi wanted to reply, but she couldn't. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She closed her mouth and grunted a bit, unable to respond to Zetsubou-sensei's logic.

"That's right… in the passage of time… the old is pushed aside for the new!"

_Books - Manga_

_Dragon ball - One Piece - Naruto_

_Rugby - American Football_

_An Old Park - A new Baseball field_

_The Power of the Greeks - The Power of the Romans_

_Myths about Dracula - Twilight_

_Hinduism - Buddhism_

At this point in time, nobody could argue with him.

Nozomu pushed up his glasses. "You know see all the disadvantages to the passage of time. The people have become too reliant on the innovations of the future, and old things good and bad are being pushed out of the world!"

Nami said, "Well it's true that most NEETs are NEETs when they become addicted to anime and online gaming…"

Abiru answered "That's a crude stereotype."

Koki shouted out, "I remember the good old days, when today's crude stereotypes were the truth back then!"

"They didn't have anime or online gaming back in the old days."

The class took a walk to a park.

"This is terrible!" Shouted a frustrated Kei.

Kafuka asked, "What's wrong Zekkei-sensei?"

"It's that park district building…." He pointed to a large park district building. "This spot where I'm standing is the ideal place for sketching that mountain in the background." He pointed to a mountain in the distance, most of the view obscured by the building. The class realized that the "ideal spot" he was on was on a swing.

"So?"

"That building was only built recently. Now the perfect view I had of that mountain is ruined!"

Nozomu huffed. "You see? For people like my brother who make art out of natural scenery, it's a difficult time indeed. The tearing down of natural areas and blocking of natural scenery makes it hard for artists like him to draw!"

Abiru said, "Isn't it more important that animals use those natural areas as homes?"

Nami asked, "What is that park district building used for anyways?"

"Anyways…" Nozomu continued, "Do you now see how the passage of time has damaged this world? Even if most people are content with this, there are plenty of reasons modernization is bad!"

_Deforestation._

_Easy access to water leads to misuse of good water._

_Human beings have become more lusty._

_Nuclear Weapons._

_Waste of Natural Resources for cosmetics._

_Waste of electricity on TV, Computers and Games Systems._

_Waste of paper writing this._

"That's not true!" Said an energetic Kafuka.

"There are a lot of reasons that the passage of time has improved life!"

Nozomu half expected this. "Like how?"

Kafuka pointed to an open window somewhere. "Look at that boy online."

The boy is talking to an American Pen Pal.

"Thanks to the internet, he has friends all over the world! And look!"

The boy looks back and forth, then closes his curtains.

"The internet helps with other things too!"

Nozomu shouted, "Stop there!"

Kafuka took everyone to a movie theater. The poster said, "Now playing: Harry Potter and the Continued Plot."

"These days, people can make movies out of books! People are more interested in movies, so they're likely to enjoy the same message they would have received in the books at a faster rate!"

"But not all movies are based off books…"

Kafuka took everyone to a manga artist's house. "Because manga exists, scruffy people like this have a job!"

The manga artist said, "It's a very demanding job though."

Lastly, Kafuka took them to a CD shop. "The King of Pop died recently. He came from the previous era. But even though the media rebuked him and people criticized him, The kind music companies of the current era gave him a chance by letting him release newer versions of his famous songs!"

Nozomu retaliated. "But not every previously famous pop star has had as many chances!"

Kafuka spun around and said, "New age means new chances!"

_Tiger Woods- American Superstar, Chinese._

_Jean Simmons' reality show._

_The respect of others' beliefs._

_Game and Watch Gallery._

_Fair, efficient Laws._

_Kouji Kumeta._

"So since old gets pushed out by the new, why don't you try to become new, Sensei?" Asked Kafuka.

Abiru added, "The quickest way is to find a modern-day person, and try to model yourself after him.

Nozomu put his hand to his mouth. "Hm…"

The class found him reading in the library.

Chiri said, "You haven't actually changed!"

"Yes I have." Nozomu pointed to Jun Kudou. "I've modeled myself after Jun Kudou. I am now a modern day bookworm!"

"You're just trying to sidestep modernization!"

"And everyday, these books give me _new _ideas for what to despair about!"

_Flash._

"Zetsuboushitta! The main character's hypocrisy has left me in despair!"

Abiru said, "So he hasn't changed at all, huh?"

Kafuka said, "He's definitely changed!"

Nami said, "The only new thing about him is how he sidesteps his problems!"

Kei smiled and said, "I guess I'll sketch this building instead with a mountainous backdrop!"

Translation Notes

Title: 1985- Derived from the George Orwell's novel about a futuristic Negative Utopia, _1984_. The novel was printed in 1949, and it represented how the author thought the future would be like. I added a year to the title to represent the passing of ages and the changes they bring.

Era: This is used in a general sense. It doesn't mean the Mesozoic era or the Cenozoic era. It stands for the passing of time from one point of worldwide cultural achievement, to another. Example: Newspaper comics - Black and White Cartoons - Cartoons in Color. Or just the transition from Reading Books for entertainment to Watching TV.

Nozomu's Book: The Main Character he's talking about is Holden Caulfield, from _The Catcher in the Rye_. Holden makes a point of calling almost everyone but himself a "Faker" and expresses his desire to protect children from adulthood. It is my opinion that he is a hypocrite. Why? He is the most fake of everyone in the book; He tells so many lies, I forgot who he is. Not only that, while he may hate adulthood, he used adulthood to his advantage when the only person he ever thought about talking openly with was a prostitute.

If there are other things you don't understand, please direct your questions in either a review, or a PM. Thank you for reading this far.

Paper Blogs

Era: I have a feeling I may have been born in the wrong time. Even back in the 19th century, people had little they could call entertainment aside from good music, books and the funny papers. They had less to distract them from what they were supposed to do. I was asked to do take out the trash, do the laundry, clean the house, and vacuum, but I had been so distracted by online videos, TV, and video games, I had put it off 'till the weekend. I was distracted during the weekend too. I spent all my free time doing the chores I should've been doing the following week. I'm better at managing my time now, but I have the feeling that chores would seem like something enjoyable to do if all this advance in technology didn't look better in comparison.

This is the first chapter of my new story. Unlike Unreachable Happiness, this forms more around the anime/manga; there's little to no plot, it's episodically written, and it takes a more direct approach to the issues brought up. Unreachable Happiness still has major issues, but they more or less mold the story into what it is.

Haga: Blah, Blah, Blah, nobody wants to read over a page of worthless information.

Grr….. Those of you who read Unreachable Happiness will recognize Haga, my unbearably perverted co-host.

Haga: Whatever. You haven't been working on Unreachable Happiness lately.

….. Well, this topic works better in an episodic story!

Haga: Whatever you say…

Sayonara!


	2. Excuses of Hostility

Well, things haven't been going well. At the time I'm writing this, I'm not on a computer with any Internet access, so it'll be while before I can get this posted.

Anyways, how have you been? This is the third chapter, but since I haven't been able to get the second one up due to an erasure of my data via annoying siblings, It's actually the second.

It just doesn't feel right calling it the second, but it must be done. This chapter deals with… well, I cannot tell you. I don't want to spoil anything.

* * *

Chapter 2: Excuses of Hostility

"Sensei it's about time for you to settle down with me already!" Chiri told him.

"I had all my doors locked. What you have done is technically breaking and entering." Said Nozomu.

"Half of your class is here waiting for an answer, so give us one Sensei!"

"Um… I actually have some important business to take care of in the bathroom!"

Nozomu rushed to his bathroom, and locked the door.

"Sensei!" Chiri, Kafuka, Komori, Matoi, Oora, and Abiru followed. Oora sorta walked instead of run.

"He's locked the door." Said Komori.

"What sort of important business does he mean?" Asked Kafuka.

"Well duh, what else does anybody do when they go to the bathroom?" said Chiri.

"Go to the bathroom?" Asked Abiru.

"Chiri-chan is right. He's most definitely doing what every man does in the bathroom." Replied Matoi.

"No, I'm talking about making the excuse that he has to go to the bathroom!"

Bam.

Komori asked, "You mean like when a president of a gaming company blames the workers for when a game sucks, but he was the one who came up with all the ideas?"

"Or when a student coming in late blames the traffic, but in reality, he spent all night playing online games and overslept?" added Abiru.

"That's right! There are enough excuses to build another world with! And Sensei has been going through every single one of them just to avoid giving us an answer!"

_I have to use the bathroom._

_Hold on, I just got a text message. I'll answer later._

_Not now, I'm grading your tests._

_I have to go tend my garden._

_I'm helping twenty friends move; come ask again in a month._

"All of them are excuses!"

"Most of these excuses are pretty shady." Commented Abiru. "Why do we keep falling for them?"

"Because who would lie about something like that?" Answered Kafuka. "Even if Rin-chan always tends the garden, what if she was sick? Sensei would have to take care of his garden!"

"If I remember correctly, he did pass a test for flower arrangement."

"But I never saw him help twenty friends move." Said Matoi, who kept tabs on absolutely everything her beloved did.

"He probably did it while you were asleep."

"But I sleep next to him every night!"

"He probably just fluffed a pillow."

Because fluffing a pillow always works. (No it doesn't. Trust me.)

"He more than likely really did get texts from Meru-chan too." Said Kafuka.

Chiri added, "Well she texts him every day, so that would be a legitimate excuse…" Chiri paused. "So we can't blame him for that."

"… Legitimate…?" asked Oora, not picking up on what she meant.

"It means he isn't just making it up." Komori explained.

"Which means if he really were grading our tests, that would be a legitimate excuse." Said Abiru, further explaining a point that doesn't need it.

"By the way, what are you doing here, Oora-chan?" Asked Komori.

"Well… you see… Sensei dropped a 1000-yen note… and a few weeks ago… I came here to return it…"

"A few weeks ago?"

"You see… I forgot about it… until just now…"

Chiri looked at Abiru. Abiru looked at Komori. Komori looked at Matoi. They all said, "That's not a legitimate excuse."

"Hmm…?"

"I bet you were looking to have an affair with Sensei!" Inquired Chiri.

"I also..."

"And you just happened to be here while we were here." Further inquired Abiru.

Kafuka reached into Oora's pocket. She pulled out a 1000-yen note. "See? She has a legitimate excuse!"

"That might not be sensei's."

She flipped it around. On the reverse side in small print, it said, "Fake. Please do not steal."

"… Yeah, that's sensei's."

"She has a legitimate excuse."

While accusing her of having an affair, they completely spoke over her when she said, "… hope that he returns… my feelings for him…"

Meanwhile, in the bathroom…

"So we meet again, Nozomu Itoshiki."

"If it isn't my old rival, Tatsuhiro Sato."

"Hey, let's drop the offline formalities. Let us do battle as Sa1o-kun and DkofDspr."

"Do you mind if we hold it for a moment?"

"Why?"

"I'm actually in the bathroom doing my business. I shouldn't even really have my laptop in here. I just brought it because I knew I'd be bored, but right now, I have to concentrate."

"Are you sure you aren't just making an excuse not to fight me? Figures, your sorcerer is no match for my warrior."

And outside the bathroom…

"Maybe it wasn't an excuse to hide, maybe it was an excuse to run away!" Chiri proposed.

"Matoi-san, Komori-san, is there a window in the bathroom?" Asked Abiru. They both nodded. "Then sensei might have escaped."

"Not really. If you think about it, he held his stomach as he ran. He was sorta staggering." Said Kafuka.

Abiru thought. Then she said, "Well there have been ways of making an excuse seem legitimate…"

_Carrying a pen and a clipboard and saying, "I'm Busy." Excuse for ignoring meetings._

_Pretending to talk on the phone and saying, "Not right now." Excuse for ignoring customers._

_Pretending it brought him guilt and saying, "I thought I was entitled" when he gets caught. The excuse is mistaken thinking._

_Pretending you're making a video game by coming out with screen shots of the final project to keep the impression that they're a good game company and saying, "There is a slight delay" when the game doesn't come out. Excuse for getting paid for the past decade._

"Is there any way for us to determine if Sensei's excuse was legitimate?"

"We could always bust in."

Everyone paused to think about it. The answer was a unanimous "Yes". Fortunately for them, Chiri had brought a battering ram. Everyone picked it up from a side.

"Okay Oora-chan, you count down from five!" Commanded Chiri.

"O-kay… Five…"

Matoi's thoughts: 'He's in there doing that, I just know it!'

"…Four…"

Chiri's thoughts: 'If you've escaped, I'll hunt you down and…'

"…Three…"

Kiri's thoughts: 'I saw him with his laptop. I hope he doesn't electrocute himself…'

"…Two…"

Abiru's thoughts: 'Even if he's escaped, I wrapped my bandage around him so he can't get away.'

"…Zzzzz…"

Oora-chan had fallen asleep. "Wake up!"

Oora-chan's dream: '"Sensei… I picked up your money…" "Thank you Oora-chan. Let's get married." "… Yay…!"'

"Wake up!"

"Huh…? Oh… Sorry… One…"

All at once (except for Oora) the girls slammed the ram into the bathroom door. The door flew off of its hinges.

"Kyaa!" Screamed the surprised sensei.

The girls looked at him. Kafuka said, "See? He's on the toilet."

"He hasn't escaped…" said Chiri.

"He doesn't have any smut…" said Abiru.

Komori raised her hand. "He's got a laptop."

OH MY GOD! HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK! Was written all over their faces.

Matoi put her hands over her face. "I knew it. You're doing that in the bathroom…"

Chiri was checking his laptop. "Darn it, he must have erased his history. All I can find are news sites, a suicide forum and… an MMORPG?"

"Gimme that!" Nozomu snatched his laptop back. "Why? Why are you all in here?"

"We thought you were using the bathroom as an excuse to run away from us…" Said Abiru.

"Well I really had to go! If you don't believe me, take a look!"

They all responded, "Your excuse no longer has to be verified."

"Geez, first this guy thinks I'm using the bathroom as an excuse, now all of you! You know, the bathroom is one thing you cannot break into, excuse or no excuse!"

"We're sorry…"

"Zetsuboushita! The people who suspect others of making up excuses when they're really true have left me in despair!" He pulled up his pants. "You want to know why I haven't commited to anybody yet? Because if you're with me, you'll most certainly live a life filled with despair!"

"None of us care." Said Kafuka. "As long as we're with you!"

"… Well then, you're all a year too young."

"Then commit in a year!" Said Chiri.

Nozomu muttered to himself, "… I guess that excuse didn't work…"

"Hey! You Hypocrite!"

* * *

On Sato's side…

"Hey, Nozomu changed his screen name from DkofDspr to Duke of Despair."

On Chiri's side…

"Even if he's online, sensei's a teacher. There's no excuse for improper grammar."

* * *

Reference

The title, "Excuses of Hostility" is based of off a chapter title in "The Setting Sun". It was, "Outbreak of Hostilities".

Tatsuhiro Sato is the main character of NHK ni Yosoko (Welcome to the NHK). In the manga (or anime was it?) he had an MMORPG character called Sa1o-kun. He's Nozomu's rival online.

DkofDspr stands for "Duke of Despair". I was trying to think up a good name for a depressed person's MMORPG character. Was it good?

The Examples of failed legitimate excuses…

When a person says that they can't make it to a meeting because something big just came up, they're usually making an excuse (this isn't always true).

I don't like dealing with people who talk on the phone when a customer is trying to get help (this really happened to me).

The excuse being mistaken thinking was taken from the Tiger Woods scandal. Any way you look at it, he knew what he was doing was wrong. He still did it. I do believe he was truly sorry, but seeing as how his apology was most likely scripted, I don't buy his excuse.

The video game that never came out was Duke Nukem Forever. They tried to create the impression that it would come out someday by saying that they were, "Delayed". From what I understand since 3D Realms is being sued, they were supposedly being paid for all of a decade and did absolutely nothing. Take-Two is probably continuing the game… given I can believe anything I read on the Internet.

* * *

Paper Blog

Excuses- There isn't a person in the world who hasn't made an excuse, myself included. Most excuses made by other people have been directed at me. "Sorry, I'm going with someone else". "It's not you, it's me." "Sorry I can't hear you, I'm listening to my iPod." Well fine. It's fine if you don't wanna dance or don't wanna be friends anymore or if you're tired of listening to me. Just say it to my face. Despite my saying that, the only excuse I use is, "Sorry, I need to go to the bathroom". I actually use it quite frequently. I usually use it in classes I'm not doing well in, or when a conversation suddenly gets heavy. If I really need to use the bathroom, I have a legitimate excuse for missing anything important, or not listening to you. But I really don't have to go most of the time. I think they've caught on. They won't let me go anymore.

It's no excuse. I've had all this time and all this schoolwork to do and I haven't been allowed internet access and most of what I was going to update with had been mistakenly erased and I can't access from my schools computer lab, but I should have ignored all of that to continue doing the only thing I like to do: write fanfictions.

Haga: Well actually, a lot of those are legitimate excuses.

No excuse I make is a legitimate excuse. At all.

Haga: Wow, you're more negative than usual today.

Well nobody can beat Nozomu in that respect.

Haga: Yeah, I guess so.

There's also no excuse for having two of the eight pages I've written be used for extra content. The readers are probably angry with me.

Haga: Some might, some might not be. You won't know until you get flames that read, "BLAM this piece of CRAP!"

Since I've run out of things to say, Sayonara.


	3. Sequels

*The Following has nothing to do with the chapter. All actual names aren't featured because of copyright issues.

Maybe I just don't get the new cartoons nowadays. I don't watch them too often, just the reruns of older ones. My younger siblings tried to show me a few years ago, but I didn't get them.

The one about food has an over-hyperactive main character, and strange food. I'm a glutton, and I'm not sure I'd like what they cook. The one about the boy at the harbor has nothing to do with adventure at all, and his friends are a jerk-ass and a whale. It's more a mind screw series than anything else. The one about reality show contestants would be more appropriate for teenagers. Same with the one about the boy and the dog (the new one).

I really liked the one about the idiot kids who scammed other kids to get oversized jawbreakers. It struck a chord in my heart, because I've always loved jawbreakers. A good mix of stupid, cunning and smart. There's kid in the lab too. Oh boy, did he invent some crazy crap. My favorite was the cowardly pink canine who protected his elderly owners. Who knew that Nowhere actually existed… and that it was so danger prone! (More a horror-comedy than comedy).

The ones back then had a basic premise; a strong one. The new ones are sorta weak, and they have to rely on non-sequitur ten times as much. Some are meant for an older audience. Cartoon Network isn't as good as it was. Nickelodeon hardly makes cartoons anymore. Well, it's main demographic is "Entertainment for Children", not particularly "Cartoons", so it can be forgiven.

Haga: If you just read all that, sorry if we criticized a show you might like.

* * *

Chapter 3: Reversed Lolita (the Sequel)

The class was loud. Everyone had just seen a movie sequel over the weekend.

"Did you see that?"

"Yeah, it was terrible."

"Not exactly horrible per se, but…"

"Yeah, the original was better."

Nozomu opened the door. He walked up to his spot at the podium. "Now class. You all probably saw that movie sequel yesterday, didn't you?" Everyone replied positively. "Tell me, wasn't that disappointing?" Again, everyone responded positively. "It's a terrible thing, sequels. Even if the original stands well on it's own, it's a plot to make more money. Despite how good they try to make it, or how little they do to improve it, sequels are never as good as the originals."

Nozomu took chalk and started writing something on the board. He put it down, and turned to his class. "I want all of you to remember this phrase. It represents the modern world's obsession with continuing something otherwise good." He stepped aside. The phrase on the board read, **Sequel Syndrome**.

"Sequel syndrome is an attempt at making something better than the original. Like the Godzilla movies. Or all Marvel Superhero movies." He breathed inward slowly. "But like every attempt, it fails."

Chiri raised her hand. "If you're just going to tell us that all movie sequels are bad, it's common knowledge."

"But movies aren't the only things sequels can be made from. Books, manga, real life situations… everything is a possible victim of Sequel Syndrome!"

Nami was a little confused. "Real life situations?"

Nozomu drew his family tree on the board. "If you think about it, another son is like a sequel to parenthood. After having a deadbeat son, my father got a lousy artist. After that, an unsuccessful doctor. I'm a complete failure! And Rin is constantly oversexed! After a bad original, every sequel has been terrible!"

Rin stood up and said, "I take offense to that!" She was standing up backward and her skirt flared out. "Huh? What was that?"

"And that's not all. WWII was WWI's sequel. And it ended terribly for millions of people! There have been multiple Gundam sequels. Many people argue over which is the best series. College from High School, from Secondary school, from Primary school. College is the ultimate sequel. You're more likely to break the older you get! Sequels are terrible!"

_The sequel to horror authors are romance authors (I.e. Vampires)._

_The sequel to all Star Wars movies takes place in the middle of the series (with numerous plot holes)._

_The sequel to 2D is 3D._

_The sequel to life is the afterlife._

_Hasn't Jojo's Bizarre Adventure gotten old?_

_The sequels to our anime have been harshly criticized._

"Among many more!"

"Now hold up just a second!" Chiri commanded. "If you're using that basis for families, then I'm a good sequel to my sister!"

Everyone looked a little uneasy after that. Chiri looked around. "Why won't any of you look me in the eye?"

"Well anyway…" Said Nozomu getting back on topic, "I can't stand sequels at all!"

"That's silly, sensei." Said Kafuka, ready to refute his argument. "There are plenty of sequels that people around the world enjoy!"

"Nonsense! Nothing about a sequel is good."

"Well, what about the Harry Potter series? Six books after the first one, people loved it more than ever."

"Hmph. The first book made it seem like winning the house cup was a big deal. Then we find out that peoples lives are at stake? That hardly seems like the time to adhere by school rules and meter out points accordingly! If it had been less about the school, I would have enjoyed it more."

"Or how about all those Pokemon games? All the sequels sold just as well, if not better!"

"But there are so many, you really can't catch 'em all!"

Everyone held up a DS. They had every single one.

"But I've never caught them all…"

Abiru responded, "It's called 'Hacking'."

"But! As you can see, they are now going for ridiculous new ideas! Since they created a God, they've probably run dry on ideas. Even good sequels are subject to that."

_Dragon Quest._

_Final Fantasy._

_The Dark Hunters._

_Horror._

_Stand up Comics and their new jokes._

_A band that's been around since the 70's._

Kafuka asked, "So you're admitting that some sequels are actually good?"

Nozomu slammed his podium. "NO! Never! Quit twisting my words!"

"If it's based on an original, it's at least decent Sensei!"

"It's brainwashing… it's got to be brainwashing! This is what she always does to me!"

"Look at all these sequels. They're wonderful!"

_Dragonball Z._

_From Rugby to American Football._

_Hyper Dying Will Mode._

_2000's._

_Tertium._

_Japan._

_Tom Baker was good, as was David Tennant._

"But those are all just a matter of opinion!"

Kafuka pointed to you. "This chapter is the sequel of the first draft! The original had a story about Sensei actually going to the movies and having the lesson there, but it seemed a bit unrealistic considering he was getting 'Shushed' every four seconds. This sequel is better than the original!"

"But this chapter is shorter than that first draft! Subtract the translator's notes and you've got maybe three full pages of content!"

Nami asked, "Then what do we do? Most of this has just been a back-and-forth between you and Kafuka… the rest of us have just been sitting here."

Nozomu thought. He said, "We'll do what sequels do, and try to stretch out the rest of the story! With the sequel to everyone's story!"

Nami: She lives normally ever after.

Chiri: She goes home and straightens her picture of sensei.

Abiru: Becomes the next Steve Irwin and pulls a sting ray's tail.

Komori: Attempts a job online. Succeeds. Makes a lot of money.

Matoi: Continues to stalk Nozomu.

Maria: Lives in Nozomu's trash.

Usui: Goes on an epic journey to save the world that nobody notices…

The next day.

Nozomu walks in. "Good morning class. Did you enjoy the sequel to all your lives?"

"Yeah, sorta…" Replied Nami. "But if the series (our lives) are to continue, does that mean there'll be a sequel to the sequel?"

Nozomu gasped. "You're right! We rushed into finishing your lives so fast, people will be expecting ideas!"

Kafuka offered a suggestion. "If we want another sequel, there's only one person we can visit!"

Outside a well…

"The author of this story lives in a well?" Asked Harumi.

"Yeah! He's made an effort to isolate himself from society!" Kafuka bowed. "Everybody pray for a sequel to the sequel!"

Nozomu, Kafuka and everybody else bowed. "Please author! Give us a sequel!"

I brought myself up in a bucket. "Sorry, the Idea Well has gone dry."

The air turned chilly. Nozomu commented on this. "It is true that we're sometimes led to believe that a sequel is coming… and then the creator runs out of ideas."

Harumi asked, "Doesn't this story have a conclusion?"

"No. A lot of the time ideas ran dry at the end of the story. To be honest, that's why people think there'll be a sequel."

* * *

Reference

I figured since it's a story about a bunch of younger girls in love with an older guy, we'd make a sequel to Lolita that's reversed. The young girl has an illicit sexual relationship with an older man against his will… I guess.

The Vampire genre used to be about horror, now it's all about romance.

Manga references: Jojo's Bizarre Adventure essentially has over 100 volumes as of now. "Hyper Dying Will Mode" is from Katekyoushi Hitman Reborn! Tsuna uses this for all of the series after regular "Dying Will Mode". "Tertium" means "Third son". Tertium is the main antagonist in Mahou Sensei Negima! (At least as far as I've read).

In _Doctor Who_, Tom Baker was the actor who portrayed the fourth incarnation of The Doctor. David Tennant was the Tenth Doctor. Obviously, I like these two incarnations a lot.

Japan after Commodore Perry opened it up.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars annoys me.

And I actually did write that first draft Kafuka was talking about. The rest are either obvious or easy to look up.

* * *

This turned out short, but my anger is clear. Some sequels are okay, but many are not. My message is as short as this chapter.

Haga: Seriously, Sequels to Porn are the same porn, but with different actors.

HAGA!

Haga: Hey, as long as there aren't descriptions, I can say what I want right?

!…. Sayonara.


End file.
